Groomsman
Garth Maijala, Bride's Brother-in-Law

Okay, here's the story about how some guy with the last name "Maijala" is my brother-in-law and not my brother.

I was at work one day, minding my own business, when I received an e-mail from some guy named Garth Maijala who was researching his family tree and found my name on the Dr. Demento site. "Cool!" I thought, "This guy has the same last name!" I shot the e-mail over to Val with the message, "Cool! This guy has the same last name!"

Yes, well.

Now Val and Garth are married. Feel free to start in on the inbred jokes, the "that family tree don't branch" jokes, the Kentucky jokes. They've heard them all. Really. But they'd like to hear some new ones.

That aside, we really like Garth. Crustiness and all. And boy, is he crusty. Example: He and Val were picking out their wedding cake. Val was weighing the pros and cons of each tiered confection and asking Garth for advice. Garth apparently had something better to do and blurted out, "I don't give a s**t! Just pick a cake!" forgetting the kindly baker lady was standing in front of them.

Crusty, crusty, crusty.